Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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