Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
