he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Dignity is for republicans.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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