thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
