stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
