You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
