So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
