billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This baby is an asshole
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
