My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
