Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
