Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
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