i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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