Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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