Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize