why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
