why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize