i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
