I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Randomize
