So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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