in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
