I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
