I bet he comes in French.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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