whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
