i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
