She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
