I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this boner is exhausting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
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