It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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