I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
