capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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