I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
