Whats the count minus fat chicks?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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