Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
