Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
