what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
