Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
