He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
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So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
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I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
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