Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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