so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
