Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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