i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Randomize
