I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
