I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
