My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
His nipple licking is glorious
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