We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
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Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
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Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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