her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Randomize
