I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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