ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
