Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
