So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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