from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
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