Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
This is my gift to your gina
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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