Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize