yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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