I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
