Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
