what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize