how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
