his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
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