This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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