His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
