If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I need water and some morals
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
