if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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