I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
