no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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